It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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