Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
