I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
