talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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