Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
