i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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