just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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