I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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