Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
