If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
