omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
