She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
