508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
