In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
