Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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