The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
he fucked my hip out of place.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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