and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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