Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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