you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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