Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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