This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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