This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
