Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
