You smell like stripper and shame
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
