I only kidnapped one of them. chill
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
