I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
