I'm lost and stupid without you.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
