I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize