What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
