he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
