Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
