I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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