This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
