haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
You can't special order awesome
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
