i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
