We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You can't just leave with hair like that
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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