I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
