Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize