Your face is a jimmy john
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize