Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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