shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
