I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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