Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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