4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
