no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
