pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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