am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
