dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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