Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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