I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
do herpes really smell.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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