so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
