I need help removing her.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
