Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
