No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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