I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize