I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
