Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
