So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
There r osticjed everywhere
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
