i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Randomize
