Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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