Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
