Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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